I am not above any of this. I spend a lot of time on a social app, I feel bad about it, I have tried many times to fix it and I am still struggling with it.
And I will not let the cheerful version stand unchallenged, because it costs something real. At nineteen I did not experience the arrest as formative. I experienced it as terror, and I was wrong about what it meant for about ten years. The gratitude in movement five took a decade to arrive and I could not have manufactured it sooner. Anybody who tells you to feel thankful for the hard thing while it is still happening is selling you something.
My first few years in the United States were miserable and very difficult. What redeemed them was not my attitude. It was that the experience turned out to be useful to other people later, and that was luck at least as much as design.