I used to have a job where people cursed at me and my manager yelled at me. I had a pretty decent personality and I got hurt emotionally, because I respect myself, and it was so painful to see people abuse me. That is what the wrong life feels like from inside, and it's the reason I don't soften any of this.
The method cost years. I put ten times more effort on anything I wanted to do than anyone else, for an extended period of time, until I reached my goal. I failed so many times on the way.
It still costs. The Saturday I recorded this, my community was having a picnic. I didn't go, because this was more important. Coffee is the only thing I do in life for fun. And I'm not above the trap I'm describing. I spend a lot of time on X. I feel bad about it. I've tried many times to fix it, and I'm still struggling with that. Everything has a cost in life. Life is a strategic trade-off.